I was listening to Michael Neill’s radio show and he was describing how we feel our thoughts.  For example I think a happy thought (my family) and have a warm happy feeling, I think a scary thought (rejection) and I feel a churning sick feeling in my gut.

What struck me during this was the notion of ‘worrying thoughts’.  Now we are used to the feeling of having worrying thoughts where the actual thoughts have a worrying nature.  For example ‘what will happen if I don’t earn more money this month, make that deadline, meet the love of my life? (please do fill in your own favourite worrying thought)’

However, it suddenly occurred to me that what Michael was referring to was the notion of worrying thoughts – where the worrying is a verb rather than a noun or an adjective as in the previous example.  In this case we take a thought and worry it – like a dog worries a bone.  We shake it about, bury it and then dig it up, we sleep (or stay awake) with it and carry it around with us wherever we go.  Just as the dog loves to chew on its bone – we somehow seem to love to chew and chew on a particular thought – even (especially) when it is not a pleasant thought.  We all do it – it seems to be a human thing to do.

The difference is that in the first instance we are just noticing a thought as it passes through our minds like the clouds pass across the sky in a sort of ‘ooh that is a worrying one, oh but it is gone and here comes another happy one’ way.  In the second instance however, we reach up and catch it (still with the clouds here ) and drag it down to earth so that we can attach ourselves to it hook, line and sinker.  And then we wonder why we are experiencing such a crappy time.  Well that thought we are so busy worrying has got its brush out and painted a picture where everything is viewed from that thought frame.  So everything looks cloudy and we can no longer see the sun  (which is always there by the way, shining away behind any cloud).

Now the good news is that there is nothing to do.  Indeed the thing to do is nothing.  When we consciously slow down, rest easy and read a book, watch a film, bake a cake (my favourite) we find it all passes.  No analysis needed (more worrying of the thought) and no great discussion needed (ooh let’s worry it even more).   We just don’t notice that particular bone (or cloud – and apologies for any confusing metaphors) anymore.  And thoughts that don’t get overly noticed can’t get worried.

Yesterday I was sawing some shelves for my study (or room or space or anything that doesn’t sound as though I should be studious).  I had to make 10 small shelves – so note to myself, always get the diy store guys to do the cutting in future.

Nearly 30 years ago I took some woodwork classes with a wonderful teacher called Caroline.  It was for new mums and all the kids were looked after in a creche in the next room.  We created wonderful items – bunk beds, boxes, – one woman even made herself a new kitchen.

Anyway back from reminiscing – although I rember Caroline’s wise words ‘let the saw do the work’. During the hot afternoon task I noticed that when I let my body relax and flow with the movement of the saw gently doing its work the cuts were smooth and swift.  When my thoughts took over and I started to niggle away in engagement with them the cuts begain to be jerky, awkward and lengthy.

Sawing is just like anything we do. When we are engaged physically with the simple action of the task we are undertaking in that moment our ride is very often a smooth and satisfying one.  However, when we let the engagement go up into our heads to the multiplicity of thoughts that reside or float through there (eg ‘well she shouldn’t have said that to me’, or ‘if only it wasn’t bloody raining’) our ride becomes jerky and unpleasant.

Well I am so proud of my shelves – and here are some of them!

As we approach the end of the year we often look forward to how different the next year will be and we busily start making New Year’s Resolutions.

How much time do we spend clearing out the ‘stuff’ we don’t want to make room for something different?

Expecting the new to surge in without clearing out the old just blocks the flow and the energy.  There is just no room.

For the rest of this month I am going to post some suggestions of what we might like to clear out and today I am going to start with something simple – I am not going to ask you to do anything I haven’t completed myself!

What does your wardrobe look like?  And your drawers? And your cupboards?

If your wardrobe looks anything like mine it contains clothes you love and wear lots and lots.  It also contains items that don’t fit anymore, or get worn once in a blue moon or you wear to slob around the house and garden.  Elasticated waists for those not so good days – any of those lurking in the dark recesses? Items you ought to wear because you had that crazy retail therapy day way back when – any of those?

What happens when we hang on to those clothes is that we also hang on to the bad thoughts, feelings and emotions associated with them.  And we know that when we hang on to those we also hang on to the resulting behaviours.  If every time we open the wardrobe door we see guilt (I spent all that money), or sadness (I used to fit into that), or frustration (I feel so frumpy wearing this) it can drive us straight to the shops, the fridge and bread bin …… and so the cycle continues.

The saying goes that we can apply the good old Pareto Principle to most things … so we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time and ……. 80% of our clothes 20% of the time.  Here is a challenge – get rid of the 80%!  Just imagine opening the wardrobe door and loving everything you see?  It all fits, it all makes you feel good whatever you are doing today.

So here is the method

• Take everything out of your wardrobe and sort into 4 piles

1. Stuff you love, fits, makes you feel good when you wear it
2. Stuff that no longer fits
3. Stuff that is past its best
4. Stuff that you never wear because well….. well you know…..

• Put stuff from pile 1 (and only pile 1) back in the wardrobe
• Remove the rest – either put it away (and no not in another wardrobe) and review in 6 months or take it straight to the charity shop or recycle bin.

Whilst it seems harsh believe me it is worth it.  Along with the clothing stuff go the emotional stuff and the behavioural stuff.  And what is left is room …. room for new energy, new thoughts, feeling and emotions, and new behaviours…… and of course some new clothes!