Taking the Plunge
Published April 14, 2010 | 
Today I was with a couple of friends having a coffee after a walk. We were musing over the decisions that could be made at midlife. Now are these difficult or are they a delight? It seems that some of us can recognise that there are many opportunities and choices and just have a go and see what happens. Others of us are so scared of making the wrong decision that we don’t do anything at all.
It suddenly struck me that we are perhaps the first generation that has this dilemma/opportunity. Whilst we have had the notion and description of midlife for some time it is only relatively recently that we have had an extended midlife and perhaps we are the pioneering generation in this. It is no longer a getting ready for the downward spiral (no wonder we had crises). Instead (and much more fun and inspiring) it is a time to completely reinvent ourselves should we so desire.
For me reinvention means reconnecting to that innate sense of well-being, worth and happiness. Recognising that these are not things outside of ourselves to be searched for through what we have and do, but our very essence. Once we make that reconnection we can choose how we want to be from now on. Adventurous or Reluctant? Creator or Reactor? Fearless or Fearfull? Owner or Victim?
We do not have to remain stuck in work, relationships, situations, thoughts and beliefs that we may have spent many years creating and no longer desire – and they may well have served their purpose up until now, so we can congratulate ourselves for getting this far!
Have fun taking the plunge into something new. If you make a mistake then change your mind. There is nothing wrong in making a mistake and changing your mind – the only wrong thing is to stay with the mistake and be miserable for the rest of your life.
physically fearless
Published March 25, 2010 | Now I have studied a little bit about fear – I am a member of Club Fearless with the fab Steve Chandler for goodness sake! www.clubfearless.net
I used to be an athlete – in school hockey and netball teams and captain of swimming. I could climb a rope and throw an object as fast and as far any. Whilst I have been looking at fear in midlife and how it can cause paralysis and prevent us from moving forward in so many areas of our lives – I had not quite considered how it was affecting me physically until this morning.
I have recently joined a yoga class where there is a lot of time spent upside down (one way or another) and I have always made various excuses of – well my arms are not as strong as they used to be, or I don’t have the spring that I used to have (just listen to me….). Well this morning I said to the teacher that I thought it was perhaps fear that holds us back (visions of neck braces and crutches) and she gave me a knowing look and said…. ‘Well it is for you!’
Hmm well that hit me between the eyes for sure and I decided then and there ‘what the heck?’ and promptly spent the next 10 minutes in a head stand position. Guess what my head did not explode, my neck is not broken (instead rather nicely supple) and I have a wonderful sense of achievement.
So I say folks – let’s get physical. Get our bodies working in fearless ways and our minds are sure to follow.
Set yourself a physical challenge and your mind will shout ‘yippee I’m in for the ride!’
Have fun – of course I am not advocating any unsafe behaviour – and get physical.
Four Strong Winds – and An Empty Nest
Published October 1, 2009 | I was driving along – feeling the pain of my three children seemingly all spreading their wings and flying the nest at the same time. How very dare they leave and think they can live happily and independently – where did I go wrong?
Then this song came on the radio – sung by Neil Young and as I listened to the words they were of tremendous comfort – and acted as the catalyst for the necessary mindshift.
Four strong winds that blow lonely 
Seven seas that run high
All those things that don’t change
Come what may
Whatever happens in our shifting personal world there is evidence of certainty wherever we care to look. The sun rises in the sky every morning to bring on a new day. On sunny days we see it and we delight in it. On cloudy days the sun is still there we haven’t lost it, we just can’t see it today. It will be back tomorrow or the next day. Meanwhile we can accept that it is cloudy.
It is the same when we think sad thoughts and feel sad emotions. Our happiness is still there (behind the clouds) we just can’t see it today. It will be back tomorrow or the next day. Meanwhile we can accept that we have some sad thoughts today.
Anyway my children are all in their 20s and fine human beings going out to make their difference in the world and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I am just having a few cloudy days missing them….. dreadfully.